An open letter to hipsters

Look, I understand your like 100 times more cool than me just because you can keep you beanie on in whatever pub/club your in and still not sweat but I have a question for you. Do you really need to be such a wanker about it all?

Yes, this has been bought to you by the hipster or rather a whole club of them. Tonight I walked accidentally into a hipster bar which sounds like the opening to a joke “A hippy walks into a hipster bar”. I didn’t know it was a hipster bar until I got through the doors but once I was in it became very clear indeed. Not only were there several people still wearing their beanies inside but there was at least one person with sunglasses on and at least 4 with hipster glasses on, a fashion craze I still don’t and probably never will understand.

Hipster glasses

I decided to stick around in this bar for a few moments just to see what it was like. It took me several minutes to get the bar staff to notice me (probably because I had taken my beanie off) and yes I felt distinctly out of place but I stayed here for a drink just to find out what was happening. During my time there I practiced the ancient art of standing out like a sore thumb and generally getting in the way of other hipsters. I knew I was in the way when a small asian lady found a gap between me and the person next to me at the bar and instead of saying “Hey can I get to the bar” proceeded to wedge herself into this small gap to make it bigger. Why she never asked me to move I will never know, maybe because she is too cool and I am too old. But it just brings a point that I try to avoid making, maybe due to technology or peoples arrogance as humans we sometimes fail to communicate. I know I do and it must go for the rest of the world too.

I stood watching the “beautiful” people prance about without really moving that much at all, nothing that would break a sweat, god forbid that they might actually perspire during the very physical act of dancing, during this time I tried my hardest to control my laughter, sometimes this was not possible and I apologise a little for laughing at you. What got to me was just the odd smug air about it all. I don’t know if hipsters can be humble but I find it difficult to relate to people who worry more about how they look than how they portray themselves.

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