You know that feeling that tells you if you are comfortable in any given situation or not? I suppose there are some people who don’t have that feeling that they are outside of their comfort zone, or they have never pushed it in that way. I don’t believe that it’s something abnormal to push yourself into places where you feel uncomfortable, in fact I would say for some it’s a healthy thing. Personally I assess the variables around me and try to figure out exactly what or why I am uncomfortable and see what I want to do about it, in some situations there is a natural instinct to run away.
I have often wondered how many people put themselves out of their comfort zone on purpose, I definitely put myself in a position that makes me feel out of my depth from time to time, which on occasion has ended up with me having a great time. For instance a few years ago I signed myself up to a singles night Ceilidh dance, something I had never done. This was partially down to not needing to as I was in a relationship and partially because I was scared of making a fool out of myself, but an odd thing happened that night. I discovered that due to the nature of the dances not only was I encouraged to dance with women which helped overcome any need to hide, but also I was quite good at it. Sometimes it’s totally the opposite; while in Hannover I went to this bar that had people dancing at and even though I wanted to get involved and even liked the music they were playing, for some reason I felt utterly uncomfortable was glued to the bar.
There are lots of variables that change this behaviour which range from people in the crowd, the crowd itself, the size of the dance floor, how many people are on the dance floor, the music (a large factor), how much I have had to drink (a significant contributor) and the list goes on. I’m sure none of this is abnormal, there are surely things and times for everyone that they feel utterly uncomfortable and will retreat to a safe distance (in the case above for me the bar). I find the whole notion of this utterly interesting and could no doubt analyse it for hours on end but that would make this an incredibly long and dull post.
Over the coming months I know that my comfort zone is going to be incredibly challenged and I am sort of looking forward to it. I’m deeply interested in what may occur and what will change. I sort of have plans to put myself into potentially uncomfortable positions and only by doing so I seem to learn more. I know that at times I will have extreme reactions to these situations and these reactions can seriously affect me, in fact they already have. Today in particular I have been struggling, emotions are high, anxiety levels are high and the need for music to shut out the noise so I can focus. Need to write more at times like this but I have a block, not sure where to start or what to write so I am just feeding my musical needs. But I feel something unpleasant in me, like I don’t really no what to do and again I am questioning even being here, trying to take one day at a time.