It’s odd now that I am back in a country where I intend to stay for a while I feel like everything has been dropped into my happy space with an audible splat disturbing the tranquility. But all in all how is this different from how things were? Well it took me sitting on a train feeling harassed and once again turning to writing to figure out where my priorities should lie. Life has sped up and it sort of feels like I am hanging on for dear life just to keep up but I have caught this very early and am already doing something about it.
I spent the first few days staying with my Mum, it was good to see her for a few days. I am able to stay there for longer but it can make getting into the city for things like interviews and whatnot rather tricky so I decided to move on and go to a hostel for a few days. Now with a city like London you are going to come across all sorts and I had (up until a few days ago) no idea how good or bad the hostel situation might be in this city that I have spent so long in. This opinion is based on the hostel I am at but if all the others are anything like this there is LOTS of room for improvement. Maybe I have been spoilt by small, intimate, clean and caring hostels across Asia. In fact so far the place that I am staying reminds me quite a lot of a few of some of the hostels I went to in Australia that felt the same. One thing I always dislike (and this applies to all hostels in all cities) is the fact that people think it’s okay to have a really cheap price during the week (Mon-Thus £8 per night) then on Friday they more than double it. I’m not getting any more privacy for the extra money, the same breakfast, the same top bunk of a triple bunked where the mattress is covered with plastic which makes sleeping on it rather uncomfortable and noisy and I am still sleeping with 14 other people. Okay it’s a hostel so the amount of people cannot be changed but just because it’s a weekend I see no real justification to more than double the cost. On top of that because the hostel hosts a large amount of people it really needs to be cleaned more than once a day, the bathrooms are dirty, showers are weak and generally not great.
What I have been doing wrong is letting my brain tell me that I need to fix all of my problems at once. I took on house viewings and talking to people about work at the same time, no wonder I had the feeling that life sped up significantly. I made a decision to not stress about the house situation, some lovely people I know have offered me space and I will be taking them up on the offer and being less stubborn about needing my own space. So for now I am staying with Oz who I have known for about 16 years or so. She lives a bit closer to the city than Mum which is much better for me. I am still applying for everything I can work wise and something will come through soon. I need to continue to be flexible, if something comes up in a far away place in the UK or Europe or even further afield the last thing I want is a flat hanging round my neck keeping me grounded. I am a leaf floating on the wind.