Onto the mainland

So next time I decide to take a boat for 7 hours instead of a plane for an hour someone politely remind me that it’s probably not worth it. The fact is that I did it and it’s done and I won’t be doing it again. It’s one thing spending a bit more for an experience but it’s another thing it being expensive, uncomfortable and generally not a great experience. The boat itself was fine, the ocean recliners just slightly too small to be comfortable for any great length of time, dinner on the boat tasted okay but was a rather pricey $52 for 2 courses. Out of the hours that I was on the boat I did manage to sleep a bit in a sea of grey haired people and in all fairness I should of just got a plane, it would of been cheeper in the long run and would of taken a lot less time. I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth and will say thank you to my friend Sylvia for suggesting it but my instinct was right when I thought I’m not going to enjoy it.

Oh well it’s done and I arrived safely in Melbourne today. I really enjoyed my time on Tasmania and could happily go back and see the things I never saw in the first place. I’m a little upset that I didn’t get to see a Tasmanian devil up close, also a little upset I never saw those caves but life goes on. People on mainland Australia I think sometimes poke fun at Tasmania a bit like we do with the Isle of Wight, its possible that a lot of travellers also miss it. I saw a lot of people on tours which took in some of the sights of Tasmania but I personally usually hate tours like this and like to take things slower. Theres nothing I hate more than being herded onto buses, into hostels and whatever else happened on these tours. I will look back on my 2 weeks in Tassie with fond memories. So what now? Well Melbourne already has a different feel to it, it feels a little odd to be back in a city. I tried to find a hostel with free Wi-Fi which seems not to the norm in Australia, on Hostelworld the one I booked advertised free Wi-Fi, great I thought and booked a place here. I get here to find that that’s not the case, this is deeply irritating. I told them that they need to change their details on Hostelworld and they said but we do have free Wi-Fi, you get one free hour when you review us on this particular site. Okay I’ll do that I’ll write a review saying that you lie about free internet and ask for review like a dangled carrot in from of a donkey. Free means free, not just the first hour free and not because I have given you a review or liked you on Bookface, free is free and the world would be a better place if you just admitted you are wrong. Okay.. thanks good talk.

I have over the last few days been a bit low again. The writing has slowed down and the need to listen to certain types of music has returned. Somewhere in my head there is a nagging feeling that I have left this and anything else too late. I feel sort of trapped in my own skills. I have so many things I want to do but think I have already left it too late, I see people here in Australia using their working abroad visa and in my mind I am wishing I would of done the same. I should of done the same. I feel distinct disappointment which of course I was trying to get away from. Why have I not done more, why have I not found stability, why do I keep running from one thing to another. Believe me I know this voice well, it’s something that runs through my head on a regular basis something that wants confirmation from people that I’m actually doing okay and all the things I think I should of done have not happened for a reason. It’s mostly a very unpleasant feeling being this way and I try my hardest not to listen to this voice, it is incredibly distractive and makes me forget who I am, what I am capable of and what I have done so far.

Let’s not look back, let’s look ahead because in this life I can only go forward and not back. From Melbourne I might head onto Adelaide and then up to Alice Springs. I might try to do this with other travellers somehow but it will really depend upon them and I won’t enjoy depending on people unless I feel I can contribute. Once I get to Alice Springs I will try to head to Cairns eventually before heading down the coast back to Sydney to catch my flight to Thailand which I think I am going to have to delay. I have played with the idea of visiting New Zealand while I am in the area but I don’t think funds will permit.